It seems like six months ago since I wrote the last post, it is all but impossible to believe it has been only three days. So much has happened in such an intense way that I feel we have lived an entire lifetime in the last three days.
So when I last wrote Marcy was off getting a massage and she had been having light contractions for almost 12 hours. On Wednesday afternoon and evening Marcy's contraction kept getting stronger. We called Tracy, our midwife several times that day and she said to wait until contractions were five minutes apart lasting for about a minute before coming in to the birth center. We had the timer out all afternoon and the times ranged from 4 minutes apart to almost 20 minutes.
When we went to bed at 10pm on Wednesday night to try and get some rest, Marcy had been lying down for just a few minutes when she started to feel the contractions in her back. These were much more intense and painful than the regular contractions, and they made sleep very difficult. Marcy would doze for three or four minutes between contractions and then have me press on her back when the contractions came. For the next few hours the contractions stayed in her back and were getting more and more painful. We paged Tracy and we agreed to meet at the birth center at 3am on Thanksgiving morning.
We left the house excited and confident that things were going to be fine, even though the contractions were in her back indicating the baby maybe in the wrong position. When we checked in Tracy examined Marcy and she was at four centimeters and her cervix was 90% effaced so everything was progressing fine at this stage. The baby was also in the optimum (anterior) position so we were confident that things were moving along fine.
We relaxed in the bed for a couple more hours and at 6:30 Tracy examined Marcy again and she was at almost seven centimeters. But Marcy continued having back contractions. Tracy then examined the baby and discovered he was now in a posterior position. This was our first inkling that things were not going as smoothly as we hoped. She told us not to worry - that there are plenty of ways to turn the baby back to the anterior position. She tried moving the baby's head with her fingers and that was briefly successful. Every time she did it Marcy had a normal contraction, but then the baby would move again, often back to the original position.
At 9:30 we had some good news. Marcy was almost fully dilated - more than 9 cm, and her cervix was completely effaced. It had now been almost 12 hours with painful contractions every 5 minutes or so and Marcy was starting to tire. But like a trooper she was prepared for more. She tried a variety of positions to get comfortable, but with every contraction she needed intense pressure on her back and hips to help relieve the back pain.
It was soon after this that Marcy felt the urge to start pushing. She still had a tiny lip of her cervix to push the baby past, and she still was having extreme pain in her back. Tracy tried standing over her with a sling in an attempt to move the baby and every time she did this it was a great relief to Marcy and she was able to have a normal front contraction. But each time this only lasted one or two contractions before returning to the more painful back contractions.
We had some more good news at around 10am as Marcy's water broke. She was now starting to push in earnest as we both felt that the end was near. I remember looking at the clock and thinking, we will probably have the baby by noon. The pushing was the most intense part, and because of the back pain I had to either push like crazy on her back or squeeze the back of her hips together. It didn't matter how hard I squeezed or pushed she wanted it harder.
After an hour and a half of hard pushing we were both getting discouraged and worried. Marcy had tried many different positions and still there was very little progress. She was completely spent but she was still pushing hard with each contraction. This is when Tracy said there is still some time to go and we need to give Marcy some energy so we decided to start an IV. This seemingly simple decision actually proved very difficult to implement. Despite drinking constantly over the last 12 hours Marcy was dehydrated and her veins were difficult to spot. Unbelievable it took Tracy and her two assistants 45 minutes to get the IV established and by then Marcy could barely push anymore.
Her body was now racked with just one long contraction and she wanted constant pressure on her back. Things were not looking good. It was so difficult for me to watch the woman I love in so much pain and there had been no reward yet or really much sense of real progress. So a little after noon we decided that we had to make the move to the hospital. Marcy's pain had become too much - she had been in the pushing phase of labor for almost three hours and she needed an epidural if she had any chance of having a vaginal birth.
It took about half an hour to get Marcy booked in and ready to go to the hospital. The good news was that it was only a one minute drive, just two blocks away, so we didn't need an ambulance. Marcy was so out of it now she only has vague recollections of this whole time. I dropped Marcy and Tracy off at the front door of the hospital and went to check in. This seemingly simple process was made much more difficult because of the Thanksgiving holiday - regular admissions was closed and I had to go the emergency part of the hospital, in a completely different wing. About half an hour later I made it up to the delivery room and Marcy was not doing well. The epidural was still on order and her pain was unbearable. Even between contractions the pain was so intense that she was constantly moaning. She had nothing left. It was then that I really started to get worried. I didn't see how she was going to be able to push the baby out even with an epidural. She is a very strong woman, but she had now been pushing for four hours - way more than the average birthing woman has to endure.
After what seemed like eternity, when it looked like Marcy just couldn't take it any more the epidural was administered. Soon after the OB doctor came in and examined Marcy. It was not good news at all. After 33 hours of labor including several hours of pushing the baby had barely dropped into the pelvis at all - the baby was at zero station. We were both devastated - this baby was just not coming out. It was then the doctor told us - we had no other option but to get a C-section. He said that something was stopping the baby from dropping and that it would simply not be possible for it to be born vaginally. We conferred with Tracy, who luckily knew this doctor well and trusted his opinion.
We were both upset - Marcy was in despair. All that effort and nothing to show for it. She was sobbing as she was taken from the delivery room to be prepared for surgery. I was emotional as well because I saw Marcy go to hell and back to try and get this baby out. And she never gave up, she was always willing to do more, but the baby just did not want to come out the traditional way.
The despair started to be replaced with anticipation as the doctors all came in to the room for the surgery. We now knew beyond any doubt that it would be a matter of minutes until we met our new baby. The only good news of the past couple of hours is that we knew the baby was not under stress - normal heartbeat the whole time. We knew we had a healthy baby and now we were about to meet him or her.
I sat behind the curtain at Marcy's face holding her hand while they cut her open. Tracy was there taking pictures and she took some wonderful photos as the baby's head emerged from lower regions of Marcy's abdomen. I peaked a look above the curtains at this stage and saw our baby's head for the first time - covered in blood but very much alive. It was then that the doctor found out what the difficulty had been - he had the cord wrapped twice around his neck. So every time we went to move him, we would probably tighten the cord around his neck, so he moved himself back to where he was most comfortable.
Everyone in the room knew that I wanted to announce the birth of the baby, so when the doctor signaled to me I looked over the curtain and saw our beautiful new baby boy. I just whispered to Marcy, "It's a boy". The tears then started flowing from both of us as we rejoiced in the moment. All the pain and suffering was worth it - we had a healthy baby boy. The nurse immediately took him over to a table to clean him and I went over to comfort our new baby who had been through a lot in the past few hours.
He was perfect. I will never forget when he opened his eyes and looked at me for the first time - a new and tender life, completely open and vulnerable - what a powerful experience. He cried a little but overall he seemed more at ease with the whole situation than me. He grabbed hold of my finger and didn't let go while they cleaned him all up. As soon as I could, about five minutes later, I took him over to see Marcy for the first time. It was also a precious moment that I will remember forever. It was right then we agreed that we would name him Jude - we also had Gabriel picked out as a possible name, but he seemed like a Jude to both of us.
Marcy had to remain in surgery while they sewed everything back up and I went with Jude to the nursery and was with him while they weighed and measured him and gave him his first bath. About an hour later I was finally able to take him to see Marcy in the recovery room. She was overjoyed to see us both - and she was deeply relieved that the whole ordeal was now over. We had some more good news then. Jude took to breastfeeding like a fish to water - he latched on and had a very successful first feeding. After several hours of frustrating news, the last couple of hours had given us nothing but good news.
Now, 48 hours later as I sit in the hospital room while Marcy and Jude are sleeping it is slowly starting to sink in. We have a healthy baby and mom, and everyone is progressing well. We get to go home tomorrow and start our new life together. November 23rd will always be remembered as the most intense day of my life so far. I think we went through every possible emotion in such a short time. There were times where I very much doubted we would have a successful outcome like we did. It didn't turn out the way we expected, but in the end what really mattered is that everyone is happy and healthy and we can now begin our new life together. For that I am truly thankful.
